


A Passenger of Time

by HaveCourageAndBeKind



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Marauders' Era, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, No Time Turner, Post-War, Rejection, Ron Weasley Bashing, Sexual Content, Some Fluff, Soulmates, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Werewolf Mates, Werewolves, remione - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-04 07:08:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15836280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaveCourageAndBeKind/pseuds/HaveCourageAndBeKind
Summary: Time is a tricky matter. Remus unknowingly travels through time only to wake up both in his own body and in different years. Will the younger him use the knowledge of the future to change the past and save his friends? Will the older Remus learn to enjoy a few more carefree hours with people he's missed and mourned for years?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU, rating M for suicidal thoughts, language, and sexual content.
> 
> Beta love to DiagonAli and Reyloclaw. Thank you for letting me spam you with all of my stories.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, thank you to JK Rowling for creating such fun characters to play with.

_Part I_

 

_**September 27, 1977** _

 

Remus walked alone to the Shrieking Shack as he watched the sun set around him. He knew within hours the moon would be high and he would be stuck in the body of a monster.  _Moony_  let out a growl, and Remus tried to take control back of his mind. It became harder to be in control this close to the moon. His mind felt split; one part being a man trying to control the beast, and the other part being the beast trying to convince the man to accept him. Remus bitterly promised himself that he would never accept who– _no_ , what he became once a month.

 

He looked up at the sky and stuck his middle finger up, hoping that the Gods would see how he felt about the curse thrust upon him at only four years old. He woke up month after month with no memories after the excruciating pain of the transformation. He woke up battered and bruised; always with new scars covering his skin. He couldn't help the guilt he felt when he would leave the Hospital Wing the following day and see his own friends covered with cuts; a sign of his-  _Moony's,_ aggression.

 

He approached the deranged tree and mobilized the twisting branches from harming him. After pressing the hidden button and entering into his own personal haven, he sat on the dust-covered bed dejectedly. He threaded his fingers through his sandy blond hair and wondered if it was worth it. How could he possibly continue on with his life living in constant agony? For crying out loud, he was only a seventeen year old but his body ached as if he were old and greying.

 

Sometimes Remus wondered how much more he could take. Yes, he had great friends. Friends that spent years finding a way to keep him company during the Full Moons. He had a mother who loved him unconditionally, and even a surrogate wizarding mother who doted on him. But would he be doomed to live life as a lonely old wolf? Would he have to watch as his friends fall in love, marry, and even have kids while only ever being " _Uncle Moony_?"

 

He couldn't see himself finding someone to spend a life with. Who would even want to tie their lives to a werewolf? Who would want to be with someone who could easily kill another being by snapping his fangs around their neck and not even remembering it the next day?

 

No, he would never marry. He would never allow himself to have children for fear of passing on his Lycanthropy. Sure, he would live happily in the shadows of his friends' happiness for a while, but how long until he could no longer take it? How long could he live a miserable existence without wanting to end it all?

 

Dumbledore previously recruited him for Order missions once he graduated Hogwarts. He couldn't tell him anything more then he would be gone for months and would be in contact with other werewolves. While he didn't know what for, Remus knew it would be for a good cause. If his life were to end early, hopefully, he could at least try to provide any useful information. He knew he would be no match against another wolf if he were challenged.

 

Remus snapped his head up as he heard a rustling outside the Shack. He knew that that meant his friends were outside in their Animagus forms and ready to 'play' with Moony. It was almost time.

 

He closed his eyes tightly, hoping to get through the blinding pain as fast as possible. He always thought it would get better, but each time it became more painful. He had one last fleeting thought of ending his tormented life once and for all, and then everything went black.

 

. . . . .

 

_**September 17, 1997** _

 

Remus groaned as he flipped onto his back and stretched his aching muscles. As his arms descended from the air, his hands came into concrete and his eyes shot open. Did he get out of the Shack last night? He always woke up on the cold, hard,  _wooden_ floors. Not concrete.

 

He looked around the pitch black room and allowed his eyes to adjust to the lighting. He immediately jerked his hands around to see if he could find his wand, feeling desperate. When his hands came into contact with the familiar Cypress and Unicorn hair, he allowed himself a small sigh of relief. But where was everyone?

 

Usually, James or Sirius helped him to the Hospital wing to have Madam Pomfrey heal any open wounds. Peter usually left earlier, not strong enough to be able to support any of Remus's dead weight. They wouldn't let Moony roam alone, so where could he be?

 

He cast a silent  _Lumos_ , hoping that the light would give him a clue as to his location. He felt his heartbeat quicken as he realized that he looked to be in a cellar. Certainly not the Shrieking Shack. Certainly not Hogwarts.

 

He found a pair of unfamiliar trousers and a vest nearby, however, they smelled of him. With his curiosity peaked, he headed towards the stairs leading to a door. He halted immediately when a scent consumed him. No, it wasn't the smell of cooking meat that assaulted his nasal cavity, but a sweet aroma he most certainly never smelled before.

 

It intoxicated him. He wanted to bathe in the crisp honeysuckle and lavender that effectively made Remus feel dazed. He opened the door to follow the scent, pausing briefly to raise his hand and block some of the blinding sunlight from his eyes. When he finally focused his eyesight, he noticed his hands did not look like his own. They were covered in unrecognizable scars and calluses.

 

Panicking, he brought the foreign hands to his face to wipe away the sweat dripping down his forehead.

 

Looking up, he noticed a mirror on the wall not far away. He quickly made his way towards his reflection to make some sense of the situation. An inaudible gasp hung in the air as he stared at his face. His own face. His hands came into contact with facial hair and he laughed breathlessly. Impossible.  _Unbelievable._

 

He looked to be in his forties by the way age lines covered his face. His eyes looked more tired and ... almost haunted. He had a large scar covering his face, one that most certainly he never had before. It couldn't be a fresh wound; while it looked raised and angry, it still seemed completely healed. His hair, the one and only feature Remus liked about himself, was now peppered with grey strands. He looked  _old_.

 

Thinking quickly, he cast a quick  _Tempus_  charm.  _September 1997?_ His eyes widened, it wasn't possible. He couldn't transport to the future, especially with no concrete evidence of time travel to begin with. And how would he have transported into his own future self? He had nowhere near enough power for that sort of magic at only seventeen. It had to be a dream.

 

His trance broke when he heard an angelic humming in the distance. His ears twitched as he made out a soft tune of muggle music his mother use to dance to while cooking. The sound made his heart swell and beat out of his chest. He continued his quest to find the delectable scent and now, the delightful sound.

 

He finally made his way towards the end of a hallway and into a kitchen. He watched as a woman with riotous curls and an oversized sweater work her way around the room. Her bare feet kept to the beat of the music and her hips swung enticingly. His took a deep inhale and realized that the new scent came in waves off of the stranger.

 

Yet, she did not feel like a stranger. Moony felt oddly content in her presence, especially considering he still tried to fight Remus for control. His rampage of the month over far too soon for him.

 

Her scent reminded him of home.

 

And that's when it hit him. This angel, whoever it could be, is his mate. Moony's mate. She had to be. His mouth dropped opened and he shut it quickly with an audible click. She jerked at the sudden sound and turned around, wand raised.

 

Remus expected to be stunned. To be yelled at. He expected anything other than the way she actually greeted with.

 

She smiled at him and his heart stopped. "Remus." He purred at the way his name sounded coming from her lips. Sweet, innocent, and full of emotion. She had one hand wrapped around a spatula and another pointing towards the table. "Sit. I'll have breakfast ready for you in a moment, then you need to get some rest," she ordered and he laughed. A bossy little thing too, he knew he had to be dreaming now.

 

If the Fates were actually letting him have a glimpse at his future, he may die of happiness. Finding a mate seemed to be a thing of legend. Rare, and even he felt tempted to allow nature to take its course. While he proclaimed he never would allow anyone to attach themselves to him, this is his soulmate. His other half. If anyone were to understand his beast, wouldn't it be her?

 

And here she stood, doting on him after the moon. Taking care of him like everything was normal. Like he was normal. By the way he heard her heartbeat quicken when she saw him, and the rush of warmth that flooded her cheeks, and the way her eyes looked at him so full of love, he knew she cared for him intensely. Could he deny himself this? Would he deny himself the possibility of a happy life?

 

A light caught on her hand and he noticed an engagement ring. He let happiness wash over him. He had never felt so energetic after a full moon before. Instead of sitting down, he walked right up behind her as she watched a pan and wrapped his hands around his waist while bringing his nose to her neck. He felt content. That everything would be alright. That he finally came home. He didn't know her name, but he didn't need to know that she was it for him.

 

She giggled, "Moony, I know you tend to be cuddly after the Moon, but if you don't sit down to eat I won't give you your special hot chocolate along with your Full English breakfast."

 

An uncontrollable whine escaped his throat, and his mouth watered at the mention of chocolate. She laughed again and lightly patted his cheek. "Go along now," she stood on her tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek, but at the last moment he turned his face and allowed his lips to come down on her.

 

Her warmth enveloped him as she melted into the kiss and he allowed his fingers to spread across the expanse of her back. When his pinky fingers grazed the dip of her waist and brushed the beginning of her backside, she put her arms on his chest and pulled away. She looked at him with wide eyes as she slowly stepped away from him. He thought he saw her eyes glisten, and his heart broke as she shook her head.

 

"Remus," her voice sounded like a mixture of a sob and a plea.

 

"What's wrong?" His voice sounded more gravely than what he was used to. His own deep emotion-filled voice startled him. He didn't even know the witch's name but knew she held his heart in her hands.

 

"Remus, you know what," it came out short, rushed, and filled with anger. Perhaps sadness? He had no idea what made the witch so angry to take that tone with him.

 

"I'm sorry?" It came out as a question and she leaned her head back and let out a humourless laugh.

 

"You can't keep doing this to me, Remus. I put myself out there to you. I  _told you_  how I felt about you. I  _told you_  I wanted to be with you. But what did you do? You pushed me away. You chose  _her._  I try so goddamn hard to act normal around you since we live together. I try to be friends with you, but you can't keep flirting with me or ... keep using me to get back at Tonks everytime you fight with her."

 

_Tonks?_

 

"Don't look at me like that, Remus. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm with Ron now, you know that. You made it clear exactly how you felt about me. You made it painfully obvious that you didn't want me. I-I think I need some time away from here."

 

She hurriedly threw the plate of food on the table and exited the room. He felt torn; did he go after her like he wanted to, or did he let her be? She was his mate. She was  _his_. How could he have messed this up for himself? Did he resent himself that much in the future that he would allow himself to live unhappily? How could he allow himself to deny the only woman that fully completed him?

 

He heard her talking in another room and the sound of another male chuckled. Remus felt impossibly jealous that she went to someone else.  _Mine,_ Moony growled and raged within him.

 

The floo roared then and everything fell silent. He felt confused since he didn't smell anyone else in the house. He found himself tracking her scent to a library filled wall to wall with books. If he wasn't wallowing in misery, he may have felt overjoyed to be surrounded by so many texts.

 

"You always did know how to scare off the ladies, Moony."

 

Remus stilled at the somewhat recognizable voice. His lips quirked slightly, "Padfoot?"

 

He jumped around to maul his best friend, happy to finally have someone to talk to about the insanity of his life and to chastise him for not being there when he woke. But instead of a living, breathing, Sirius Black, he came face to face with a grinning portrait.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: Wow, I am blown away by the response for the first chapter. I HAD to post chapter two to thank you all for such amazing feedback. Thank you so so much. I hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much!
> 
> Beta Love to DiagonAli and Reyloclaw always for being there with every story I write. You guys rock.

_**September 28, 1977** _

 

Remus knew he had shifted back into his human form, yet kept his eyes closed shut tight, not wanting to face the reality of his day. He knew she would be there for him, that she would do anything for him, but he couldn't let her spend her life wasting away trying to fix him.

 

Hermione Granger, a girl he desperately fell in love with, could never be his.

 

At twenty years her senior, Remus felt too old for her. She was everything to him and deserved more than he could ever offer her. She lifted everyone's spirits by walking in a room. She cared for every single person as if she's known them for a lifetime. She championed the underdogs; those who couldn't put up a fight themselves.

 

And Remus was nowhere near good enough for her.

 

He sighed, knowing that Hermione held onto some sort of feelings for him. He loved the way she had a smile only for him. He loved that she would watch him over the top of her book when reading in the library, thinking he didn't notice. He loved how she cared for him after every single moon, making she he was kept fed, rested, and healed.

 

Just being around her was almost enough for Remus.

 

But she drove him absolutely  _crazy_ with desire.

 

He cursed himself every time he could sense a change in her physiology when he came around her. He cursed himself for every hidden smile, blushed cheeks, raised heartbeat, lingering touches and even a few forbidden kisses. He hated himself that he pushed her away and kept her at arms reach, but at the time he thought she would thank him later.

 

He had hoped that she would get over her crush on him quickly and find love with someone else.

 

Except Remus never thought that someone else would be Ronald Weasley. By far one of the worst suitors for Hermione. His beautiful Hermione.

 

He hated seeing her doubt the way she looked when Ron's gaze strays. He hated hearing Ron obliterate her confidence in every aspect that made Hermione herself. He told her that she needed to take lessons from Molly on how to cook and clean like a proper housewife. He told her to hide her scars so he didn't have to look at them. He to her to fix herself up more when they went out into public.

 

Remus didn't care about any of that. He didn't care that Hermione tended to undercook food, in fact, he cherished her for it. He didn't care that the house never looked spotless, he happened to think her sneezes from the dustballs were adorable. He didn't care about her scars, he had more than enough on his own body. Her scars were a reminder of everything she fought and went through to make the world a better place. He thought she looked beautiful naturally. Hair unruly and wild, oversized sweaters that fell off her shoulders and showed her delectable skin, no make-up to cover the freckles that splattered her rosy cheeks and button nose.

 

He hated being able to hear through the silencing spells she tried to place to protect herself. To hide from everyone and let her emotions rage on. He hated hearing her sob uncontrollably over the words her fiance didn't even know affected her.

 

He especially hated being able to hear Ron try to pressure her into more than what she felt ready for sexually.

 

He tried to talk to her about it, yes. But it ended worse than he thought possible. Apparently, he didn't get a say in her choice of men since "rejecting" her.

 

She told him not to act jealous since she wasn't his to boss around. Remus knew to keep silent but secretly scolded himself for pushing her away. If he knew that keeping her away would drive her to the arms of Ron Weasley, he didn't think he would have done it in the first place.

 

They were engaged to be married now and Remus's heart broke every time he saw them together. It had been only a couple of months since the end of the war with the Battle of Hogwarts. It had been devastating to everyone around them. He knew that Hermione had many terrible losses due to the war; the worst being the loss of her best friend and pseudo-brother, Harry Potter.

 

Remus never felt more protective of Hermione than at that moment. He could physically feel her entire world shift seeing Harry go down in battle. When she cradled his lifeless body, all he wanted to do was take her into his arms and never let her go.

 

Instead, he had to be an arse and tell her that he could never be with her. No matter how noble the act felt in the moment, he made both of their lives completely miserable. He knew that she didn't feel happy being with Ron, but the Weasley's were the only family she had left really. With Molly mourning the loss of Fred, she unknowingly pushed Hermione into an expedited marriage with her son, claiming that the two were meant to be.

 

But Hermione soldiered on. She pushed back every insult, every stray gaze, every belittlement by the man she was to marry to stick it to Remus for his actions. He knew she deserved so much more, and that even he could have made her happier than Ron. He knew he had to fix his mistakes, but it was almost impossible with Tonks latching onto him at every possible moment.

 

One of Remus's biggest regrets in life was taking Tonks up on her offer of a sexual outlet. He needed to release all of his pent-up aggression and sexual frustrations from Hermione and he allowed himself to use Tonks. He didn't expect her to get it into her head that they were now a couple. It angered Moony every time he was in the presence of Hermione and let Tonks kiss him or physically touch him. It made Moony furious to see the look of betrayal on her face every single time Hermione saw them together.

 

He knew he had to rectify the situation. Maybe he could let Hermione in and they could both be happier together. He knew he couldn't provide her with much, but he knew her feelings for him were strong.

 

Happy now that he had a plan, Remus snuggled into the blanket covering him, trying to overcome the embarrassment he felt by thinking of Hermione seeing him like this by being delighted in the fact that she covered him up. He stretched out his arms and felt relieved that he seemed to be in better condition than usual, but surprised that he currently was laying on something soft instead of the hard concrete floor of the cellar.

 

He opened his eyes but had to close them quickly due to the sunlight surrounding him.  _What the?_

 

He sat up quickly and rubbed his hands over his eyes, hoping to remove some of the crusty leftovers from his short rest. When he finally focused on the room, he knew he had been in the room before. His eyes widened, what happened for him to be brought to the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts?

 

Remus heard a soft clicking of heels, a telltale sign of Poppy Pomfrey. He felt his eyes bulge out of his head when he saw her finally, she looked to be decades younger than the last time he saw her after the Battle. She smiled softly at him while waving her wand over him to cast diagnostic spells.

 

"Poppy, why do you look so... young?" Wait, was that his own voice?

 

She paused her handiwork before scowling at him. "Mister Lupin, I know you are often in my care, but I don't believe I have ever given you cause to call me with such an informal title. I expect this behaviour out of Mister Black and Mister Potter, but not you. Now, you seem to be in a fine condition so I want you to head to the Great Hall for meals, but I do not want to hear that you went to any classes today. You still need to recover from your transformation."

 

Remus's head spun. Nothing made sense about what she just said. He had been calling her Poppy for years, especially once he began to teach at Hogwarts. Black? Potter? Why did she have to bring up such touchy subjects of his past? Almost everyone with those last names was dead. Classes? Did he have amnesia? Did he accept Minerva's offer to teach Defense and hasn't remembered anything?

 

He watched as Poppy- er, Madam Pomfrey, walk away from the cot before turning back to him. "Oh, by the way, Mister Lupin, I know I may be in my thirties but that does not classify me as old yet. Just older than you." She gave him a pointed look before crossing her arms and sticking up her nose.

 

Once he heard the door to her office finally close he shot up quickly. He had to figure out what was going on, he knew something was wrong. Just as he went to walk out of the door, it swung open and collided with his moving body.

 

"Hey Prongs, it looks like Moony is finally up!"

 

Remus couldn't focus as he fell on the ground and hand a throbbing head. He must have been knocked back from the door.

 

"Look what you did Pads! You knocked poor Moony to the ground. How are we ever going to convince him turning Snivellus's hair into an afro is a good idea now?"

 

Remus opened his eyes again and the world seemed to spin. Two figures leaned over him and he almost fainted on sight.

 

"Padfoot? Harry? Am I ... dead?"

 

. . . . .

 

_**September 17th, 1997** _

 

_"Padfoot?"_

 

"I know you're happy to see me Moony, but you could look a little less like you've just seen a ghost! You did just come to see me yesterday."

 

"I mean.. Pads, does this mean you're dead?"

 

Sirius looked at Remus inquisitively, "Moony are you okay? Did you hit your head or something?"

 

Remus scratched the back of his head, "Or something,... Er, I think I just had a bit of a rough transformation. I can't really seem to remember much."

 

Another figure walked into the frame and wrapped his arms around Sirius, "You should ask Hermione, you know she jumps on any opportunity to do research."

 

"Prongs? You too?" Remus's mouth fell open and he blinked back tears. How could he get through this day without his friends? "I must really be dreaming now. Is Peter gone too?"

 

Sirius scowled, Prongs just grimaced, "How much are you missing Remus? What is the last thing you remember happening?"

 

Remus looked down at the floor quickly and twiddled his thumbs. "Uh, Seventh year," he mumbled, "You two were trying to convince me to go out with that Hufflepuff, Darlene Higgins."

 

Sirius's face softened and looked at his friend with sad eyes, "Yeah, sounds like you're missing just a bit Moony."

 

Remus wiped at his eyes, something Sirius would normally poke fun at him, but Sirius himself looked to be on the verge of letting his emotions be shown.

 

"Then I think I should... introduce myself," The Prong look-alike said. "My name is Harry. Harry James Potter."

 

At that moment, Remus began to notice the subtle differences between his friend and the figure in the Portrait. The most telling feature being the vibrant green eyes. "Lily," he whispered.

 

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way Moony, it's been a shite couple years." Sirius laughed at Harry's statement, "It's been a shite life, Pup. We haven't caught a break since the first war in the eighties."

 

"How can I be certain I'm not just dreaming? This all seems to be too much, like my... worst nightmare."

 

"You can't really know for sure. You're going to just have to put faith in us when we say it's all real. You could always come back to talk to us if you're still missing information tomorrow."

 

"No, I don't think I'll be able to sleep on it... I need to know what happened in this reality. At least if I'm dreaming or if I've been given a vision by the Fates I can try to prevent something from happening."

 

Sirius and Harry looked at each other, "If you are planning on changing the timeline, you will need to talk to Hermione. One little thing could change the entire outcome of the War. We've already won the battle," Harry rationalized.

 

"But at what cost!" Sirius raged on, "we lost nearly everyone we loved or cared about. I know you can't stand only being able to talk to Hermione like this. I know you can't stand not being able to be there for her while she tries to heal."

 

"Hermione," Remus tested on his tongue. "That name sounds... familiar. Who is she?"

 

Harry looked shocked while Sirius smirked at him, almost giving an 'I told you so' look. "Hermione is your mate." Remus nodded his head, "But I gave her up, why?"

 

"You're old enough to be her dad!" Harry explained with a gasp. Remus looked appalled at his own words and immediately understood that there would have been much backlash if they had a relationship.

 

Sirius squeezed Harry's shoulders, "I tried to explain this to you before, Pup. They are  _soulmates_. That isn't something you can take lightly. But to answer your question Moony, it's because you're too damn noble. You thought she would be better off without you," Sirius gave Harry a challenging look, "but both of you are clearly miserable without each other."

 

Remus sneered, "She didn't seem to be miserable without me! she's clearly engaged to someone else."

 

Harry fumed, "Yeah, because you threw your relationship with Tonks into her face! Hermione had a crush on you since fourteen and you couldn't even let her down gently. It took me months while we were on the run to comfort her enough to tell me what happened. The entire time I thought she was upset because Ron left, but instead, it happened to be because of you rejecting her at Bill and Fleur's wedding! I can't even describe how angry I felt when she told me you kissed her, told her you two could never be together, and then, later on, she saw you snogging Tonks!"

 

"Tonks. Tonks? Why do I keep hearing this name? Who is she!" Remus threw up his arms in exasperation.

 

"She's my kid cousin," Sirius cut off Harry's own explanation in fear of upsetting Remus with all of the new information. "To be honest, she always seemed a bit obsessed with you. You told me later on that you two had some sort of friends with benefits relationship during the war. I know that sex can always help Moony from being more aggressive with you during the moon," he snickered at the disgusted face Harry made. "After the war ended, she got it into her head that you two were an item. You thought it would be better to keep her around so Hermione could move on from you. Which is a bunch of dragon dung if you ask me."

 

"What should I do?" Remus felt frustrated, he never could talk to the ladies like Sirius or James.

 

"You need to talk to her," Harry said. "Tell her that you don't remember anything, and be honest. Knowing Hermione, she'll know exactly what to do to figure out what happened."

 

Remus wiped his hands over his face and groaned, "I don't even know when she'll be back. I kissed her this morning and she ran away, saying she needed space from me."

 

"She's probably at the Burrow."

 

"The Weasley's?" Remus asked.

 

"Yes," Harry stated, "She's engaged to our best friend Ron. Although how they haven't killed each other yet, I have no idea. The pair of them gets along as well as oil and water."

 

Sirius gave a confused look at Harry and Remus smiled. He missed how much his friend tried to get involved with Muggle culture, only to get hung up on the silly expressions. Remus's face deadpanned, knowing exactly what he needed to ask now.

 

"Can you please tell me about the war? What happened? Obviously, Prongs had a kid, but where is he. Or even Lily and Peter."

 

"Don't ever mention that rat again," Sirius seethed. "He's not even worth your breath." Remus had to take a step back at the accusatory tone of his best friend, needed to know what warranted it.

 

"Sirius, he needs to know." Harry used a calm and soothing voice on his friend.

 

"Know what!" Remus demanded.

 

"Pettigrew sold out James and Lily to Voldemort. They're dead and I ended up in Azkaban for twelve years for it."


	3. Chapter 3

**_September 28th, 1977_ **

 

_ "Padfoot? Harry?  Am I ...dead?" _

 

"I would ask if he's bent for someone named Harry, but I don't think that's the most pressing issue at the moment."

 

"You think Pads?" James rolled his eyes at Sirius before looking at his semi-unconscious friend. Remus's eyes rolled into the back of his head before his entire body went limp.

 

"Shite," Sirius got down onto his knees and picked up his lanky friend. "Prongs, go find Poppy!"

 

Sirius cradled his friend in his arms and brought him to the back to place him on a cot. It unnerved him how many times he's seen Remus in one of these beds, and it killed him that he caused another accident. He grabbed his hand and rubbed soothing circles with his thumb, knowing that Moony liked physical contact with his Pack. He watched as Remus's eyes fluttered, and Sirius let go of a silent sigh of relief, happy that he didn't do that much damage.

 

"Moony, are you okay buddy? I know I'm good looking and all, but that's no reason to fall at my feet." He hoped to get some sort of reaction out of him, but his friend's face remained mournful. Sirius became even more astonished when he saw tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

 

"Oh Siri," Remus rushed forward and gave his friend a bear hug. "I thought I wouldn't see you for years. I'm happy to be with you again though, but please you need to tell me how it happened."

 

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Sirius felt completely confused. He knew Remus only used that nickname when he's in distress or emotional turmoil.

 

"Pads, I don't remember how I died. I don't know if most people remember, but the last I remember was transforming and then everything went dark. I don't know what could have happened, I always lock myself in the basement." Sirius saw his friends eyes go wide and his mouth fell open, "Hermione."

 

"Who?" Sirius didn't even know how to respond at this point. His friend must have a concussion to be talking about a guy and a bird he had never heard of before. Oh, and of course he thought he died, that concerned him very much.

 

"Hermione! Oh my god Sirius, Hermione." Remus covered his face with his hands and let out a wet sob of desperation. "If I got out last night I might have harmed her. What if I killed her? I could never live with myself, even in the afterlife."

 

"Moony, I think you need to back up a few steps. You are not dead."

 

"Sirius, this isn't time for joking around," Remus's eyes hardened. "I  _ know _ that you're dead, I watched Bellatrix kill you herself. There is no other way for me to be with you again unless I'm dreaming or dead myself."

 

Sirius took a couple steps back, his heart hammering in his chest. "I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm alive and well Moony. Maybe you just had a bad fall. You did hit your head pretty hard on the floor."

 

Remus took a moment to study his friend. He noticed the absence of facial hair and early age lines due to years in Azkaban. He noticed his friend had an honest bewildered face. He took in the setting, a younger Poppy, and even Harry. But he had  _ hazel _ eyes...

 

"Pads, what year is it?"

 

Sirius laughed, "Okay, now I know you're fucking with me, Remus. Really, I'm sorry I tried to get you to date that Hufflepuff, but you need to get laid! You always do better on full moons after it."

 

Remus stood up and took a menacing step towards him, "I am not messing around Sirius. Tell. Me. The. Year." He flashed his dangerous teeth at his friend and heard Sirius audibly gulp.

 

"1977." 

 

_ "Fuck." _

 

"Mr Lupin! Watch your language young man! What are you doing out of bed?" 

 

Remus ignored Poppy and stared at the figure next to him. A picture perfect copy of the young boy he had grown to love as one of his own. Who he had to watch face horrors he never wanted him to even know of. Who died in front of him, leaving him to feel guilty for still being alive and not doing enough to protect him. Especially when he promised his father that he would do whatever he could to help him. But he had broken his promise to the wizard long ago. 

 

And now he had to face his demons. No, it wasn't Harry standing next to Poppy. No, it was his father. James. _ Prongs. His best friend. _

 

His hand twitched, it took everything within him not to rush forward and grab his friend and never let him go. If he happened to be stuck in 1977, he had to preserve the timeline.

 

_ Right? _

 

They had won the war. 

 

But they lost  _ everything. _

 

Wizarding Britain was in complete tatters. The population almost completely demolished or in Azkaban, and the others haunted by the events that took place or mourning the loss of their loved ones.

 

Remus groaned, but then there was the butterfly effect. If he were to change one little thing, it could prevent the birth of Harry.

 

Oh Gods, or  _ Hermione. _

 

He barely survived the first wizarding war. Losing all four of his best friends. Three he thought were dead and one he presumed to kill them all.  He fell under such a depression that he would have died on multiple occasions due to alcohol poisoning if it hadn't been for his extraordinary healing abilities.

 

If he didn't have Hermione to get him through the Second War, well he might have just ended it all for himself. The only purpose he had in life was to protect Hermione and Harry; to make sure they were kept safe. 

 

Remus couldn't keep it together. Could he save everyone? Could he find and destroy the Horcruxes while making sure Hermione and Harry were alive and kept safe? 

 

He couldn't go to Dumbledore, it angered him that he would even have to interact with him again. The manipulative old bastard played everything perfectly. He kept all of his chess pieces exactly where he wanted them, only to fuck him over if he needed them out of the way. All for the  _ "greater good." _

 

What good did winning the war do if everything else fell apart? 

 

No, he would have to stay ignorant around Dumbledore. He would do this his own way. But does he tell his friends? Sirius already is looking at him suspiciously,  _ especially _ after that outburst.

 

_ Oh fuck _ , and Pettigrew. How could he stay in the same room as him without tearing him to shreds? He couldn't be certain that Moony wouldn't harm him during the next full moon if he were present. The sole person responsible for destroying his entire pack.

 

Remus couldn't be sure he wasn't in Muggle Hell. He felt like he was living his absolute worse nightmare.

 

"Don't worry Pop-- I mean Madam Pomfrey. I'm just getting back into bed. I think I'm coming down with something else. My head is pounding."

 

He had to buy time to come up with a plan, but he wished Hermione were there to help him. He knew he had to visit her favourite place to find some answers. He would need to visit the library to figure out what the hell happened in the first place. 

 

. . . . .

**_September 17th, 1997_ **

 

"No." Remus backed away from the portrait. "No, absolutely not. Peter wouldn't do that."

 

"I'm sorry Moony, but that's what happened. I'm sure Hermione has the news articles saved around here somewhere. I would have lost my mind in Azkaban if I couldn't transform into Padfoot when the dementors came by."

 

"Twelve years?" Remus looked at the tired face of his best friend. Hardened after years of war. He looked completely different from the energetic and fun-loving Sirius he saw less than twelve hours ago.

 

Sirius nodded solemnly. "Once she knows what’s going on, I'm sure Hermione would share her memories of the night we were all reunited." He spat out the last word and Remus cringed.

 

"This... I can't believe this. I have to be dreaming.  _ I have to be. _ "

 

"We can't always get what we want Remus. I wanted to be alive to kill the rat myself but that didn't stop Bellatrix from sending the Killing Curse my way. It's war Moony, you have to be cautious of everyone." Remus had never heard Sirius sound so bitter, and he had a hard time wrapping his head around everything he just learned.

 

No, it had to be a dream.  _ A nightmare _ . He would wake up soon and be back in the Hospital wing being tended by Pomfrey. He would tell all of the Marauders about his dream and they would all pick on him. They would all laugh about it before James continued to moon over Lily, and Sirius would tell them all of his latest devious plot to prank Snivellus. Peter would be the quietest of the group, but his face would light up in mirth as he gave Sirius a tweak to his plan to make it even better. Sirius would bark out his normal laugh, throwing his care-free head back. Lily would come over and put her hand on her hips, scolding them all for their latest rule broken. She would go over and kiss James on the lips and he would look at her as if she were a goddess. Then she would go sit next to Remus and curl under his arms, making a joke about leaving James for him since he was a much better cuddler.

 

And Remus and Moony would both be happy. He would have his pack together.

 

He wouldn't be in this nightmare where his entire pack had been killed in a war they were shoved in too young. 

 

Remus felt tears burning in his eyes and he ran from the room, ignoring the calls from both Sirius and Harry. He followed Hermione's comforting scent to a bedroom with a blue floral quilt. A hoodie had been tossed over an arm of a chair and Remus grabbed it, holding it to his nose and inhaling deep. He let the scent of honeysuckle and lavender calm his broken soul. He knew he had to find her.

 

After a while of carefully debating with himself, he found himself in front of the floo. He grabbed a handful of the green powder and called out to the Burrow, sticking his head in the flames. A pudgy red-headed woman answered the fire-call. She looked just like...

 

"Molly?"

 

"Oh, you poor thing. Remus, you're just skin and bones! I don't know why you haven't come over for a home cooked meal in awhile. I know Hermione hasn't yet learned how to make a good hearty meal. She hasn't been taking care of you at all, has she?."

 

Remus felt a growl rise in his throat and pushed it down, "That's not why I called Molly, I'm looking for--"

 

"Tonks? I saw her leave just a bit ago. When are you going to ease that poor girl's heart and put a ring on her finger? Don't you think it's time to finally settle down?"

 

"Molly," his snarled voice caught her off guard. "Can you please send Hermione through." She upturned her nose and nodded her head swiftly.

 

Remus stood from the ground and began to pace, unsure of exactly what to say to Hermione. 

 

But every word failed as soon as she stepped through the floo; her curls unruly and framing her face brilliantly, her hands on her hips and a look that said she would wait for an apology.

 

He lunged forward and grabbed her into his arms, ignoring her startled gasp as he dug his hands into her hair and nose into the crook of her neck. She tried to pull away a bit, but when she saw his bloodshot eyes and tears running down his face she brought him back into her arms. At this, Remus let out a broken sob and all of his emotions of the morning finally came crashing through.

 

He didn't know what he cried for anymore. For wanting to wake up from this nightmare. For learning that all of his friends, his  _ pack, _ lie dead in this reality. For learning that he pushed away his soulmate, his better half, for a completely selfish reason and validating it by saying he wasn’t good enough. For feeling old and worthless in this body, that ached of years of abuse and unwilling transformations. He wanted it to end. He wanted all of his pain to end.

 

Hermione led him to the sofa and sat him down, allowing him to curl himself around her body. She nestled him into her arms and rocked him back and forth, running her hands through his hair and cooing at him. Telling him everything would be okay. Telling him that she forgave him.

 

When he finally calmed down enough to use his voice, he sat upright to look at her. He noticed she had an odd look on her face, and when he followed her line of sight, he saw that he still had her sweatshirt balled up into his hands.

 

"Hermione, I know that this is going to sound completely insane, but I just want you to listen before saying anything."

 

She opened her mouth and he gave her a keen look. She sighed and nodded her head.

 

"When I went to transform last night, I was in the Shrieking Shack. Waiting for Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail to transform into their forms to join Moony for a romp in the woods. The year was 1977 and I was a Seventh year Hogwarts student…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: Thank you to Reyloclaw for Beta-ing this chapter. I am so in love with this story and I hope you are as well! I have so many wonderful plans. Please Read and Review!


	4. Chapter 4

 

**_September 29th, 1977_ **

 

It took one day for Remus Lupin to figure out that he simply could not handle it.

 

After spending another two hours in the hospital wing, effectively missing the entire school day, he stuck his head down and swiftly made his way to the library. He tried not to look up into the crowd of students, but when he did, their fate stared him down.

 

_ Dead. Dead. Clinically Insane. Dead. Death Eater. Missing. Presumed dead. _

 

_ Dead. _

 

Everyone seemed so... happy.

 

Like they didn't know what was to come in the following years. That they would be faced with horrors as young adults who were forced to grow up too fast.

 

No, they all seemed jovial. They didn't know of a storm brewing outside the castle walls. They didn't know about the revels, the murders, the tortures that took place. Or will take place.

 

It hurt Remus to look into the eyes of a first year Muggleborn student knowing that within a couple years they would be slaughtered because of their blood.

 

Every time he convinced himself that he had to, that he must preserve the timeline, a new face would be reintroduced into his life and threw his presumptions out the window. A voice screamed at him that he needed to do the right thing. He had to keep his head down and focus on figuring out why he was sent back in time to this particular moment.

 

But then a moment of clarity washed over him.

 

The moment he saw Pettigrew leaving from behind a tapestry with Thaddeus Nott and Lucius Malfoy.

 

Remus felt absolutely disgusted that his friend's betrayal began years before Sirius and himself worked out.

 

Peter who went to every full moon, every prank, every tutoring session with Lily. Peter who joked and laughed with them, and cried with them when the elder Potter's died of Dragonpox. Who put an arm around him and comforted him when his own mother died of cancer.

 

That became the moment that Remus decided to just screw the timeline. The lives of his best friends were more important than anything. God forbid anything deters the birth of Harry James Potter, but it would have to happen.

 

He only hoped that Hermione would still be born since her muggle parents were not in the middle of the war.

 

After spending time in the library, perusing the restricted section on time travel, and becoming frustrated at the loss of knowledge he knew would only be available in the future, Remus finally made his way back to Gryffindor tower.

 

He walked in and his heart stopped at the scene. James had Lily curled up within his side, playing with strands of her red locks. Sirius sat on the arm of the chair of Marlene McKinnon, the only woman he knew to have stolen his friend's heart. Sirius had been completely distraught over the news of her murder, and here they were in flesh and blood, playfully flirting with one another. Peter sat in a corner chair doing work by the fire, smiling at the shenanigans of everyone else.

 

Remus began to growl, he couldn't help it. The bloodlust he felt for the rat overwhelmed his conscious thought.

 

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked his way. His heart melted when Lily's face brightened at the sight of him, but quickly dissipated to concern and worry. Sirius stood up and beckoned him forward, "Moony, so glad you're back. It was so wonderful of the Headmaster to let you visit your terminally ill grandmother again. How did the night go?"

 

Remus stole another glance at Pettigrew before smiling softly at Sirius, happy that his friend pretended he didn't already see him in the Hospital Wing already. "I'll be honest Padfoot, it felt like a pretty rough night, but I'm always happy to come home to such wonderful friends."

 

Sirius gave him a cheeky smile and patted to a seat next to Pettigrew. Remus looked cautiously to the spot before realizing he could not spend hours next to him pretending everything was okay.

 

"You know, it was actually a long night. I'm going to head to bed early. We'll catch up tomorrow?"

 

Both Sirius and James gave each other a quick glance before giving him a worry filled look. As Remus began to climb the stairs, he heard Lily fretting over his health, claiming that he looked more pale and sickly than usual.

 

Remus climbed into his bed, a bed that hadn't been his for twenty years. He closed the curtain before tearing off his clothes and laying on his back. He stared at the ceiling as he made a list of everything he needed to do.

 

And he began on that list the very next day. He knew he needed to tell his friends of what happened. He couldn't keep anything from Sirius and James. They stared at him all morning and hovering over him like mother hens at breakfast.

 

So that's why Remus found himself plotting how to get Sirius and James alone after dinner.

 

First, he had to drag himself through classes he already took. He breezed by in Defense and Herbology, but double Potions right after the full moon gave him a raging headache. All of the smells of the ingredients overwhelmed his senses. But when Sirius charmed Snape's hair to look like a rainbow during charms, pretending it had accidentally misfired, made his boring day that much better. It reminded him that he no longer lived in the aftermath of war. His best friends were alive surrounding him with light and happiness that he hasn't had in a long time.

 

After dinner, Pettigrew disappeared. Remus wondered how often he disappeared that they never noticed. He worried that was the driving factor of innocent Peter going to the dark side, but he knew if he continued thinking of the 'what if's' the guilt would eat him alive.

 

Remus took the opportunity to drag Sirius and James to the Room of Requirements with a promise of a new hidden passageway that he found. Not completely false, but he knew he needed to get them in a room. Then he could tell them everything in complete confidence.

 

When he walked them to a brick wall, they laughed at him but quickly silenced themselves as he paced three times, thinking of the Library in Grimmauld Place. A place he felt completely at home in because of Hermione.

 

As they walked into the room, Sirius's face turned to disbelief. Remus felt horrible, knowing that Sirius had terrible memories in his family home.

 

" _ How the hell... _ "

 

"Padfoot, I will explain, just... just give me a moment to collect my thoughts."

 

He pointed to an old leather couch in the center of the room before moving to the fireplace. He began to light it when Sirius opened his mouth to give input. Remus silenced him with a hand before kicking the fireplace three times and blowing on it, a trick Sirius taught him years later to get the fire started. He walked towards the bookcase and stopped dead when he found Hermione's copy of Pride and Prejudice on the shelf that she gave him for his thirty-eighth birthday. He opened the cover to look at her familiar scrawl, reading her script over and over.

 

'Remus, Never forget that you are a great man. Love, Hermione.'

 

Short, simple, and described exactly how their relationship was. Hermione always tried to lift up his spirits whenever he felt self-conscious about himself.

 

He brought the book over and set it on the coffee table, sitting across from his two friends. He gestured towards it for them to open up. He knew the moment they noticed the letter, and the moment they noticed the copyright date of 1985. A newer publication of the classic tale.

 

"I have something important to tell you guys... but you need to promise not to say anything until I'm done talking."

 

"Does this have anything to do with how strange you've been acting since the last full moon?" James asked sincerely.

 

"Yes. It started the moment I woke up. When I went to transform last night, I was in the cellar of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Waiting for the pain to start alone, because no one else of my pack was... alive. The year was 1997 and I had just survived the Second Wizarding War..

  
  
  


**_September 17th, 1997_ **

 

Remus felt himself start to sweat as Hermione just stared at him with a gaping mouth not saying a word. She snapped her lips close before staring at him curiously.

 

"You're saying that you just woke up in the future? That you're a ... seventeen-year-old Remus trapped in the future, but yet did absolutely nothing to cause the switch?"

 

"Switch?"

 

"You don't think my Remus is gone, right? That he just disappeared when you woke up in this body?"

 

His heart fluttered at her declaration that he was _ hers _ . "Where do you think he went?" Remus cocked his head to the side as he watched Hermione bite down on her lip.

 

"Isn't it obvious? He would have woken up in your body." She gasped, "Oh no, my poor Remus. He woke up surrounded by ghosts. Everyone he loved and lost over the years would be alive."

 

"Isn't that a good thing?" She squinted her eyes at him.

 

"Think for a moment. If you suddenly woke up in the past and knew everyone's fate and couldn't do anything, how would you feel?"

 

"Do you really think he wouldn't change anything? I know that if I woke back up in my body, even if this were all a dream, I would do everything in my power to keep this future from happening."

 

"No, my Remus is more mindful. He knows about the dangers of meddling with time."

 

"Would it really be that bad though if things were changed, Hermione? Think of all the good that could come of it." He reached out and moved a wild curl out of her face. 

 

"But what would happen if we made it worse?" She slapped his hand away and stood up. She began to bite down on her lip again, a sign Remus quickly noticed as Hermione's concentration face. He watched as she paced back and forth mumbling to herself. 

 

He stood up and crossed the room, grabbing her shoulders to stop her in the middle of the room. "Hermione, there's a chance that I'm not going to be stuck here forever. And if I go back to my time... I'm going to make sure I don't lose my best friends. You have to understand, what would you do in my situation?"

 

She leaned her head back to look at Remus fully in the eyes. " _ Harry _ ... I would do anything for Harry.  He had to grow up without his parents, in an abusive household and didn't even experienced a  _ hug _ until we became friends first year." She wiped tears away from her eyes. "And when Sirius finally came into his life, he was ripped away after only two years together. I never saw Harry as happy as the moment when Sirius told him that Harry made him proud. So yes, if I was in your shoes I would do anything to make sure Harry had a happy household to live in. A family, like he always wanted."

 

"Just think about it, Hermione. I need your help to figure out how the fuck I'm here right now.  I won't push you to help me prepare for if I go back, but if it happens I'm going to do everything to fight this future."

 

She gave him one stiff nod before moving her sight to the couch and the crumpled hoodie. Remus followed her gaze and his shoulder sagged. "We have to talk about it, don't we."

 

"I would like an explanation for that, yes."

 

"I really don't know how to explain this better to you," he felt his cheeks burn as she gave him an expecting look.

 

"So I'll just come out and say it.  _ Youremymate _ ."

 

" _ What? _ "

 

He cleared his throat and looked away, "You're my mate."

 

She stared at him with a blank face for a second before bursting out with laughter. Once the giggles died down, she looked at him and began to howl in laughter again. "I'm sorry, but that's just not possible."

 

Remus ducked his head down to hide his flushed face, "It's the first thing I noticed after the switch. Before I even saw what I looked like, I could smell you from the cellar. It just calmed me and felt like home. Just, with the way you acted so comfortably, I thought the Gods were giving me a glimpse of my future to tell me what I kept living for. So, I'm sorry that I kissed you..." 

 

"Did you feel like you needed a reason to keep living?" Her gaze softened and she took his hand in hers.

 

"Honestly, yes. I can't stand living with what I am. I can't stand waking up in the morning to see my friends covered in Moony's abuse. I can barely look at myself in the mirror. I know what I am, I'm a  _ monster _ , Hermione. There's no way I would want to subject anyone to be involved in my life.

 

" _ Remus John Lupin _ , you listen to me," She forced him to look up to her eyes with her hand. Her eyes burned through him. She looked fierce and all he wanted to do is worship her like the goddess she is.

 

"You are not a monster. You are a good man, one of the best I know. Your mind is what attracted me to you at first. I loved the look you got in your eyes as you taught us defence in Third Year," his eyes widened comically.

 

"I was your professor?" She smirked at him, "Hush, that's not important at the moment, and now is my time to speak. It took you a while to let me in, I will admit. Over years of library chats and lengthy discussions and debates over tea, I appreciated your intelligence all the more. But I began to see beyond it as well. You are a loyal friend with such a large heart. You put care into every action, and that is something I find endearing. I've seen your scars, emotional and physical, and I still think you are the most beautiful man I've ever met."

 

Remus felt shocked, he never listened to someone speak so passionately about him before. Lily did occasionally, but not like this. He didn't even know how to respond to her, so he did the only thing he could at the moment. He let his actions speak his words.

 

He looked at her plump lips and leaned in to kiss her.

 

And then the Floo roared through the entire room.

 

Reality couldn't wait for another second.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow wow wow. Just again thank you all so much for taking time to read and review this fic. I appreciate EVERY single review I receive. Thank you to Reyloclaw and DiagonAli for beta'ing this chapter for me. I'm going to be sticking to 2500-3000 word chapters to continuing to upload this quickly. I am already writing chapter 5 at the moment!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: Warnings: I do not want to write out the warnings before every chapter, so I will be doing them all here.  
> There will be Tonks and Ron bashing. There will be violence, coarse language, and sexual themes. There will be discussions on suicide. I will post another warning if something else comes up.
> 
> Now that that is out of the way... THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. I love the love that this story is getting, and it makes me ecstatic. 
> 
> I hope you end this chapter!

**_September 29th, 1977_ **

 

"Woah."

 

"No fucking way."

 

Remus chuckled at the bewildered expressions and the youthful innocence of his dearest friends

 

"And you have no idea how it happened?" James asked and Sirius let out a mad bark of laughter. "Prongs are you just going to gloss over the fact that this is just _not fucking possible_. He's fucking with us, he has to be. He's paying us back for putting itching powder in his body wash."

 

"That was you?!" Remus growled and James snickered. "Do you expect anything better from us, honestly? You know us oh so well."

 

Remus immediately sobered up, "No, I really don't know you guys anymore. The last few years we had together were absolute shite Prongs. Fucking Dumbledore kept me far away from you guys and continued to send me back to the Packs to forge alliances against my wishes. The War hardened all of us. I barely heard Sirius crack a joke in the time before being sent to Azkaban, and... the murders..."

 

"You're getting really fucking deep on us, Moony, I don't know if I can handle this conversation." Sirius pulled at the collar of his shirt, loosening the first couple buttons.

 

"You're going to have to, Sirius. We need to man up in order to win this war alive. I don't think I can fucking handle watching everyone die again." His voice cracked and he let out a sob. James immediately ran to his side to pull him into his arms, but Sirius stood there looking at him gobsmacked. James squinted his eyes and nodded his head from Sirius to Remus, silently asking him to comfort his friend.

 

Sirius stood up slowly and watched as Remus let James rock him in his arms while he sobbed. He had never seen Remus in such a state, not even after his most painful transformation. He knew deep down that what Remus said had to be true. He knew something was off about him the moment they collided in the Hospital Wing. Usually, Remus practically jumped into their arms to savour the physical contact. Instead, he stared at them like... _ghosts._ Like he couldn't believe what he saw in front of him.

 

Normally Remus healed fairly quickly once the boys came to visit him, swearing that their touch helped to soothe him. But even after having both James and Sirius by his side, he only seemed to get worse the longer he stayed conscious. Disappearing for hours into the library by himself, in the Restricted section no less. Something he always scolded James and Sirius for doing, even it was for research. Important research, of course. Nothing to do with creating their own spells and hexes to pull pranks around the castle.

 

And then there was the whole thing with Pete... Pettigrew. He couldn't even say his name. Sirius did not want it to be true but saw the venom dripping from Remus's words combine with a flash of gold in his eyes. Moony did not lie, he couldn't lie when it came to the safety of the pack.

 

He sold out Lily and Prongs... their baby boy...his _godson_. It infuriated him to know that he allowed Sirius to take the blame and end up in Azkaban, but to inevitably lead to the murders of his so-called best friends.

 

And to think that he already started to plan his own friend's downfall. That he would sit in their common area and share inside jokes, share his fears and worries, tell them all about his dreams and encourage them to follow their own. The betrayal hurt. It stung worse than anything he had ever felt. He felt his own eyes water and he lifted his hands up and inconspicuously wiped at his eyes. Someone tugged his arm into the embrace and he willingly took the warmth and support they both offered.

 

"What do we need to do then? Fuck, Moony, I'll do anything to keep that future from happening."

 

Remus's eyes darkened and stroked the book he laid out for evidence. "It's going to be dangerous. We cannot trust Dumbledore.."

 

"But can't he help us--"

 

"No! Dumbledore would not stop at anything to get exactly what he wanted. You don't think he couldn't have changed the outcome at all? You don't think he could have tried to get a trial for Sirius? If he was found innocent, he would have had custody of Harry."

 

"What would be so wrong with that?" Sirius squinted his face at the offensive comment.

 

"Nothing. Harry would have grown up in a loving home. He wouldn't only have Dumbledore to rely on for support. Harry was left at the Dursley's for years without being checked on. He told me later on that he went to bed hungry most nights. He came to Hogwarts not much more than skin and bones."

 

"He was left at Tuney's?!" James bellowed out furiously.

 

"Yes, he was. Being forced to wear his older cousin's hand-me-downs and to cook all of the meals. Barely allowed to eat any of the food himself. He lived in the cupboard under the stairs."

 

James stood up furiously and strode over to a random wall. He threw back his arm and let a punch rip through the boards. Remus sighed at the crunch, knowing well that he broke his hand. He went over to his friend and grabbed James’ hand while he seethed. He muttered complex healing spellings, mending the rips in skins and fractured bones.

 

"Woah, how did you do that?" James said in awe.

 

"Yeah, that could really come in handy once Quidditch starts back up." Sirius smirk fell the moment he saw Remus's face.

 

"War. You always needed to be prepared." He placed his hands on James shoulder. "It's not going to happen, Prongs. I promise. We're going to fix it. Your children will never be in the hands of either Voldemort or Dumbledore. But first, we need to do research. What do you do know of Horcruxes?"

 

He took their blank faces as "not much." They had a lot of work to do.

 

"A Horcrux is one of the most vile pieces of magic someone can make," he shot his finger up to cut Sirius off, "I know that you've learned some nasty spellwork from your family, but this doesn't even touch that. No, this is created in an act of the most heinous of crimes."

 

"Murder?"

 

"Exactly. Do you guys know what happens to a person when they commit murder?"

 

"I feel like I'm in class right now," Sirius mumbled, and James elbowed him in the side causing him to release a hiss in pain.

 

James put his hand in the air and Remus rolled his eyes, "Yes, James?"

 

"Professor Moony, they say a piece of your own soul will break off if you kill another human being."

 

"10 points to Gryffindor," Remus said dryly, "Yes the soul forever becomes shattered. If an individual performs a dark ritual after their kill, they can force their shattered piece of soul to latch onto an object."

 

Sirius's mouth dropped open and he spoke softly, "and then they wouldn't be able to be killed?"

 

"Exactly."

 

"And Voldemort made one of these Horcruxes?" James asked.

 

"No. _Seven._ " The colour drained from James and Sirius's faces.

 

"How the hell are we supposed to find seven Horcruxes?  How the fuck can we even destroy them?"

 

"They have to be damaged beyond repair. Complete and utter destruction."

 

"Like fiendfyre, Professor Moony?"

 

"Yes, Mr. Potter, exactly like Fiendfyre. Or basilisk venom. Luckily I know a basilisk resides in this very building."

 

"What the _actual fuck_." Sirius stood up putting one hand on his waist and the other covering his eyes. "Don't tell me. Don't tell me that my future godson fought a fucking Basilisk."

 

"As a second year, and won," Remus said cheekily before becoming somber. "Trust me, it's best just not to think about what they went through during their years at Hogwarts. It's not going to happen again."

 

"And your mate helped my son on these dangerous adventures? I can't even imagine how you feel about that."

 

Moony let out a growl, and the three of them laughed. "It certainly felt impossible to keep her safe, but I don't think Harry would have been able to do it by himself. She was called the Brightest Witch of her Age in my time."

 

Sirius howled in laughter, "Leave it to Moony to find someone that matched his nerdiness. Tell me, did she also devour books like you."

 

Remus widened his eyes and looked earnest, "Oh, even more. Once she started a book it became impossible to drag her away. I swear the building could have been set on fire and she would have no idea."

 

James and Sirius immediately noticed a change in their friend's mood. His face, that just seconds ago looked carefree and more like their own friend, hardened and looked pensive.

 

"Hey," James said patting Remus on the back, "we're going to fix things, I promise. First we need to find these Horcruxes."

 

"Although I have no idea how we will find seven of the damn things."

 

"Well, luck is on our side Pads. There should be only five made in this time, and one happens to be in this very Castle."

 

Remus felt his friends grip each of his hands and he relaxed. They could do this. They could beat Voldemort and save the Wizarding World.

 

**_. . . . ._ **

 

**_September 17th, 1997_ **

 

Remus and Hermione immediately jumped apart as a figure walked out of the floo, dusting their robes.

 

She made eye contact with Tonks, who had now narrowed her eyes at the pair of them. Hermione quickly looked away and felt her eyes water. How could she let herself forget the reality of their situation so quickly? Remus wasn't hers, Tonks had made heir claim long ago.

 

And she felt happy with Ron... she loved him.

 

"Am I interrupting something?" The metamorphmagus scowled at Hermione, moving towards Remus and placing both her hands on his chest. Remus's eyes immediately flashed gold and a dangerous look washed over his face. He flinched his entire body away from Tonks to push her off of him. Remus grabbed Hermione's arm and dragged her off the couch, pushing her behind him and covering her from Tonk's view with his body.

 

Tonks' hair immediately turned from her usual bubblegum pink to a deep and hateful red. "What do you think you're doing, Remus?"

 

"I will not allow you to hurt my mate." His voice came out gravely and husky. He opened his mouth and bared his elongated fangs in a threatening manner. It still was so close to the moon that Moony had no trouble completely taking over.

 

Tonks crossed her arms and threw her head back in a fit of laughter. "Is this a _fucking joke,_ Remus? We've been screwing in this very house for the past two years, how could this brat possibly be your mate if you've been smelling of me and sex for this long?"

 

Remus snarled at Tonks when she took a step towards him. "Remus, _love_. Hermione must have spiked your breakfast with a love potion. This is an Auror matter now. I need you to step out of the way so I can take her in for questioning, she must be punished for this despicable crime. I knew she was jealous of us being together, but this schoolgirl crush of hers has gone on for far too long now."

 

Everything happened too fast for Hermione to process. Tonks had gripped Hermione's arm tightly and yanked, causing Hermione to let out a yelp of pain. It seemed like the next time she opened her eyes, Remus had Tonks pressed against the wall with his arm pressing into her throat. Tonks cried out in pain as Remus choked her with his forearm.

 

Hermione heard Tonks' flailing body and sharp inhaling breath as she struggled against Remus. The minute Hermione noticed she no longer could hear the girl's pleas for help, she screamed at Remus to stop.

 

She couldn't let him murder her. She couldn't. Once Moony receded to the back of his mind, Remus would be ashamed of what he'd done.

 

Remus turned around to see tears streaming down her eyes and he let Tonks' lifeless body fall to the floor. Hermione scrambled over to see if the witch was actually dead.

 

She placed her ear to Tonk's chest and listened closely for any sign of life.

 

She found a pulse. It barely was there, but something she could work with.

 

She frantically began reciting off healing spell after healing spell. She didn't notice Remus's eyes turn back to their usual lovely green or him back up to the wall with his hands pulling at his hair on the verge of a panic attack.

 

When Tonks finally took a gasping breath and opened her eyes, Hermione only saw the fear plastered on her face.

 

Hermione did the only thing she could think to do to save herself and Remus from having to run.

 

_"Obliviate."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to note that Hermione did not obliviate Tonks lightly. She is still scarred from what had to be done for her parents, and she will be coming to terms with this quick decision soon.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a longer chapter here :) Thank you all so much for your kudos and reviews!

**_October 8th, 1977_ **

 

“You didn’t tell us that this  _ god damn _ room would be impossible to find a tiara in. How the hell are we supposed to find a teensy tiny tiara in this cluster fuck?”

 

“Pads, stop your bitching and moaning and get back to work. We only have until five to search for this thing or we’ll have to come back. That’s when everyone will be coming back from Hogsmeade. No one may expect anything if we’re not around town; they’ll probably just assume we’ve got detention, but they’ll definitely notice if we aren’t at dinner.”

 

“Ugh, but it’s already noon and we’ve already been at it for two hours. I thought we would get in and out and be able to sneak to Hogsmeade. I really need a butterbeer after this.” Sirius wiped the back of his hands on his forehead overdramatically before jumping onto an old sofa. He started rapidly sneezing as the dust on the couch clouded around him.

 

Remus clucked his tongue at Sirius to hide his smile. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying his time with his friends in the past, even if he still had no idea how they got here. He had too much responsibility in his old life, and he honestly forgot how to have fun. 

 

Sirius and James did everything in their power to include Remus whenever he gets lost within his own mind. Remus’ mischievous side came back out when he was with Sirius and James, making him feel younger again. Sometimes he would even forget he once was a forty-year-old werewolf with aching and brittle bones and a depressing life.

 

Remus missed his friends how he remembered them; before the war took away their spirits. Remus could never forget Sirius being the largest flirt known to man, but he found himself amused over forgetting that Sirius would charm anyone, not just birds his own age. He even flirted with Minerva McGonagall on a regular basis. Well, Remus supposed they all use to push Minerva’s buttons.

 

Briefly, Remus forgot their pet name for Minerva; _Minnie_. It was a name they all used no matter how often she scolded them and told them not too. Her blushed stained cheeks were enough of a reason for them to continue calling her that. They all knew she adored them. He almost laughed out loud at Minera's surprised look after calling her _Professor_ on accident after class. It had taken Remus a long time to adjust to calling his previous colleagues by their formal title, so it was just a slip of a tongue to forget his informal nickname for her. 

 

Remus would never fail to recall how absolutely in love and smitten James and Lily were with one another. James looked at Lily like he would move mountains to make her wildest dreams come true, and Lily typically looked at him like he was the light of her life; even if she did call him a toe-rag in the process.

 

Remus still didn’t know exactly what that meant, and never was able to after the war began. The humour easily shared within their tight-knit group of friends became more scarce after graduating Hogwarts. They were all at war, it was nearly impossible to find the brightness in those dark times.

 

The only shining moment they had consisted of the wedding of Lily and James and the following birth of Harry. Remus’ heart broke every time he thought of Harry, and it was nearly every day considering the striking resemblance between him and James. But Harry was a completely different person from James. James could be downright cruel when it came to Severus and other Slytherins, whereas Remus couldn’t remember Harry saying anything remotely bad about anyone. Sure, he complained often about Severus and Draco Malfoy, but Harry couldn’t have hurt a fly.

 

It hurt Remus to know that it took his younger self years to realize that his friends were bullies around the school. At the time, while he may have resisted some of their pranks, he often took part in embarrassing others in front of the entire school. He would just tell himself it was a harmless prank, but he quickly learned how harmful those jokes could be after meeting Hermione.

 

He still wanted to unleash his wrath on Severus for the spiteful comment he made to Hermione in only her Fourth Year. Telling the poor girl going through puberty that he ‘saw no difference’ when she was hexed a painful spell. A spell he knew his friends have used on others before.

 

Still, they were his best friends, and they loved him fiercely. They were loyal to a fault, and would literally put up a fight for him. At the end of the day, when it was just them in their dorm together, they would lay next to Remus in his bed to comfort him, knowing the nightmares that plagued his dreams and that Moony was a cuddler. He wouldn’t give them up for anything this time; he wouldn’t let them die, not if he could help it. He would change the entire goddamn timeline before he would let the only future he knew from happening.

 

Remus told himself he would talk to his friends at a later date about putting an end to their harassment of Slytherins. He certainly knew Lily would appreciate it. Even if she was no longer friends with Severus, Remus knew she still cared about him deep down and hated seeing her boyfriend and best friends be vicious, even if Severus was the one to start it.

 

But Remus couldn’t focus on that now; No, now was the time to find a Horcrux in this mess. Remus had heard about this room from Hermione after the war ended, be he was not expecting this much shit to go through. He had no idea how they would ever find the Rowena’s Diadem, even if they spent every weekend sifting through junk--

 

“Uhhh, Moony?”

 

“Yes, Sirius?”

 

“Is that it?”

 

Remus whipped around to see Sirius still lounging on the couch. He was about to scold him,  _ again _ , when he noticed Sirius pointing to a jewellery case. Sirius jumped up quickly and made his way over almost in a trance. He placed his hands longingly on the case when he quickly opened the cover and reached his hand in. He held the Tiara like it was the most precious piece of jewellery in the world. Remus felt himself being called to in, draw in by its beauty.

 

He grabbed the tiara from his hands, easily able to fight off Sirius’ protests with his werewolf strength and his commanding order as Alpha in their pack. He cringed away briefly as persistent hatred fueled his body. The magic caressed his own, telling him that he needed to possess it.

 

_ Mine. Mine. Mine. _

 

He couldn’t give it up. It was his. All his. It whispered sweet nothings of power and glory he could have if  _ only _ he would just give in. If he would just allow  _ him  _ to possess and control.

 

He snarled threateningly when the object was whisked away from his hands, only to snap out of his daze with a horror-stricken James and a knowing look from Sirius. Remus noticed the cloth in James’ hands that contained the tiara.

 

“James, that thing is  _ evil. _ You cannot let it touch you.”

 

“I feel it too Moony. The draw. This fabric is dampening the powers, but what do we do now? How long until it tries to call out to us again? I’m only assuming it called out to your stronger because of your Lycanthropy.”

 

“Yeah,” Remus mumbled, “because I’m a fucking  _ dark  _ creature and that’s all I’ll ever be. My willpower wasn’t even strong enough to hold it for a minute. I’m a monster. I almost let…  _ him… _ possess me.”

 

“Moony you can’t be hard on yourself, we all felt it.”

 

“Moody always told me that I would feel a stronger pull to Dark things since nothing could ever change the fact I would always be a dark creature. Moody was the one that convinced Dumbledore to keep me away from you two because he was afraid I would be the traitor; expecting me to betray you once I went to the Packs. Though I doubt it took much effort on Dumbledore's part to agree with him.”

 

“But, didn’t Dumbledore send you to get intel on the other werewolves?”

 

Remus gave Sirius a pointed look, “Which is exactly why we can’t trust Dumbledore. Who says he won’t try to send me to them again only to turn me away once I’ve returned. Dumbledore is not reliable, only thinking about what would be best about the ‘greater good.’ He never actually cared about any of us,” he spat bitterly.

 

“He’ll send you away over my dead body,” James places his arm protectively over Remus’ shoulder, “you’re my brother in every way, even bonded by blood as a Pack. We will always be family Remus. I will not let anything happen to you.”

 

Sirius placed his arm around Remus’ shoulder on top of James’. He felt Moony sigh in content, even if a bit discomforted from being away from both Hermione and Harry. “We won’t let that old prick take you away from us Moony. Even time hasn’t kept us apart. It brought you back to us. Pack for life, my brother.”

 

Remus nodded his head thoughtfully before wrapping his arms around both his friends, “Pack for life.” He wondered if that was a possible answer to all his questions...

 

Remus became startled from his thoughts when Sirius howled, followed by James ten seconds later. Moony bellowed out his own call to the moon with the fraction of his pack. He allowed himself to just be a carefree teenager for a few moments, laughing as Sirius tried to tackle him to the ground. James joined in but reminded them all to why they were there.

 

“Alright, now that Moony’s pity party is over, we really need to figure out where to keep this vile thing where no one can find it.”

 

Sirius scratched his head, “We can always leave it in this room. Not this shite hole, but the Grimmauld’s Place library we’ve been doing our planning in.”

 

“As long as it stays far away from Peter,” Remus’ growled and looked to his friends with golden irises. They both nodded in agreement, simultaneously agreeing to keep the Horcrux far away from Remus as well. The wolf seemed to have an infinity to dark objects. While they both loved to play with Moony during the full moons, they knew how hard Remus took it when Moony took control during the day. If this would keep him at bay, they would do it for Remus.

 

When they stepped out into the hallway to leave The Room of Hidden Things and enter the library, Remus could smell another presence nearby. James went to go walk in front of the door and Remus grabbed him by the back of his collar.

 

“Not yet,” he growled lowly, stalking the hallway nearby. He followed his scent to a tapestry nearby, calling his friends back as he scoped it out. If it were a Professor, he could at least cause a distraction for the other two to hide the Diadem.

 

A hand shot out and grabbed Remus suddenly, pulling him behind the tapestry as well. Remus easily got the upper hand and pinned the intruder to the wall. As his eyesight adjusted to the dim candlelight, he realized he was face to face with an enraged Severus Snape.

 

**_September 18th, 1997_ **

 

Hermione had left suddenly the night before after Tonks ambushed the pair. She muttered out an apology and said that it would be better if only Remus was there when Tonks woke up. She reminded him over and over again that he had to act concerned over Tonks’ fall. She always has been such a clutz.

Remus seemed to be too disturbed from his own episode to question her. He shakily gave her a head nod and set to move Tonks to the couch. He called out for her when she panicked and left the room when she saw Tonks’ eyes flutter, but she felt like she couldn’t breathe and barely was able to get her legs moving.

 

Hermione knew she shouldn’t of left Remus alone. This wasn’t  _ her  _ Remus hardened by two decades of war, pain, loss, and loneliness. This Remus seemed to be scared of his own shadow and obviously didn’t know what his own body was capable.

 

She’d seen Remus in that state before. Well, she’d seen him transform before, but that was something of a completely different calibre. No, when Moony came to the surface in Remus’ physical body it was a completely different experience. She’d only seen Moony twice before now. Once when Dumbledore tried to scam Sirius out of money to donate to the Order but refused to say what for. And the other time never made sense to her until now.

 

The second time she saw Moony enraged was at Molly Weasley after she had killed Bellatrix in the Final Battle. She always assumed that it was since he wanted to deliver justice for Sirius’ death, and maybe it was that. But if she was his mate…

 

No. Too much was going through her mind to possibly think about that right now. It confused her and sent her mind into a completely different dimension. It didn’t make any sense to her that Remus would push Hermione away when she came onto him, especially if she was his mate. Sure, she did know Remus was known for his self-deprecation and insecurities, but it would have been completely selfish of him to go down that path. Didn’t he understand as a werewolf mate she would never have been happy with anyone else?

 

Hermione knew Remus never cared about learning about his own kind. He refused to allow the harmony between the beast and the man, assuming it would make him less human. Hermione would have loved them both completely if it meant Remus would no longer be in pain.

 

Hermione felt like an idiot overthinking this. He was with Tonks. Even if it wasn’t really him, he still was with Tonks.

 

Oh god, and she was with Ron. How could she forget about Ron?

 

She loved him… as a friend. She knew he treated her with little respect, and she honestly felt silly for accepting his proposal. It was mostly to spite Remus, but Hermione knew that reason was too petty for her, and deep down there were other more important reasons.

 

No, she continued their sham of a relationship because it was expected of her. What else did she even have left? Her own brother, in everything but blood, died in the battle, and a part of her died with him. Remus had rejected her after he allowed her an ounce of hope that he reciprocated her feelings, and then began to pursue Tonks. The only chance she had of having a family was settling down with the Weasley’s because…

 

Because Hermione had  _ no one _ else.

 

She destroyed her own family completely. Wiping away every last memory of herself from their lives and sending them halfway across the world. The last time she checked in to see if they were okay, they had a newborn son they were doting on. She saw pictures of the three of them and she couldn’t help but envy and hate her brother a bit. How could she return their memories now?

 

They had a new life. They were content and happy without her. They had new friends, a new thriving dental business, and even a new baby to replace their lost one.

 

Hermione wondered if they ever felt like a piece of them was missing. Did they subconsciously know she wasn’t there with them? Did their hearts have gaping holes in them that they didn’t know how to fill?

 

It pained Hermione to think about what she’d done to them. Dumbledore had been giving her side comments the entire year about Muggles being tortured and killed in revels. So Hermione did the only thing her seventeen-year-old self thought to do--take away their memories and put them out of reach without their permission.

 

She had no idea why she didn’t discuss it with them first. Hermione knew she was nervous about them forcing her out of the Magical World. She couldn’t even defend herself by saying she belonged to Magic, because there were people  _ murdering  _ and  _ torturing _ those who even only  _ believed _ people like her deserved to be a part of their world.

 

Hermione thought that Dumbledore would have been pleased with her decision, and that sickened her. Why didn’t he offer his own aid for her parents when he had the power to put them into hiding? Did he want her to come to that decision by herself? Did he want her to be orphaned like Harry, just so she would devote her entire life to helping him?

 

Hermione wouldn’t have left Harry’s side regardless, but she knew it certainly helped her decision after her parents were gone. All she truly had left after her parent’s obliviation had been Harry. She didn’t want to be arrogant, but she doubted that they would have found all of the Horcruxes had she not been there.

 

She felt nothing but disgust towards Albus Dumbledore. He was just as power hungry as Voldemort, psychologically tormenting his followers instead of physically. If he had survived the war, she would have brought him down herself.

 

She felt nothing but disgust towards herself as well. She had promised herself that she would never take another person’s memories after the war ended. It was a horrendous act and she wished it were an unforgivable curse.

 

Yet she had used it so willing on Tonks. Even if Tonks acted horribly towards her, she didn’t deserve that fate.

 

_ But _ Remus would have been placed under arrest for Physical Assault of an Auror. Hermione had seen the look on his face as he stared in horror at his own hands when Tonks dropped to the floor. She knew he felt just as awful about his own actions as she did. It was instinct; she knew she had to protect him at all cost.

 

She hated herself for it, but she knew she would make the same decision again in a heartbeat if it meant she could save Remus. 

 

Hermione decided it finally was time to tear herself from her bed and face the discussion that would eventually happen with Remus. She wrapped her body in a soft robe and slipped her feet into fuzzy socks to ward off the cold.

 

She tried to keep her mind off her parents by thinking of how wonderful it would be to finally have a cup of tea in her hands. When she heard a crash from down below, she came out of her stupor and ran down the rest of the way. She worried that Remus had done something to hurt himself after wallowing in his own guilt by himself for too long.

 

Instead, she stopped dead in her tracts as she came face to face once again with Moony. Those deeply golden eyes shot a wave of pleasure through her as his eyes raked over her body hungrily.

 

Her voice hitched in her throat and she couldn’t move until she focused on the other presence in the room. Finally she realized that Moony had Ron pushed face down into the kitchen table with his wand into Ron’s throat. 

  
“What the  _ fuck _ is going on here?”

**Author's Note:**

> Read and Review!


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